The child of Susan Sto Helit
by Lexxie-Lizzie
Summary: Susan has a daughter, a daughter who is in essence, Susan without restraints.
1. Default Chapter

It was a dark and stormy night. The lightning crashed and the thunder roared, and inside the walls of 34 Periwinkle road, a child awoke.   
  
This was a child with no perception of fear, she had never believed the nonsense spread about why lightning was scary.  
  
To her, a thunderstorm was an empowering time. A time when she could cause havoc among the general population. A time when   
  
she could unleash herself on the nearest unsuspecting traveller. So, she was only 6, but she was a great deal older in her mind.   
  
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Her name was Lascivia Caligo, daughter of Susan. The father was still yet unknown, Susan was still meaning to find out who it really was.  
  
I mean, she could have been seduced by a mushroom-eating squirrel for all she knew. All she remembered was that on the 27th of Nuvembre,   
  
six years ago, Susan had had a daughter. Lascivia was, at birth, a wonderful child. She never saw the point in crying, a good round of   
  
tapping on the drainpipes that spread throughout the house was enough to tell her mother that she wanted something. Susan had been   
  
altogether pleased with this arrangement. After a couple of months, she had taught the child that feeding time was not up the her but up to Susan.   
  
Lascivia soon taught Susan that this was not true. Lascivia did not whine, cry, or resort to any menial forms of attention-seeking,   
  
she commanded anttention. This would involve sitting in front of Susan and giving her the Death-stare. Susan concluded that this talent   
  
have skipped a generation. Susan would have been fine with this until she Lascivia first spoke. She had found the Voice.   
  
A two-year-old with the Voice is a frightful thing. Instead of the usual embarressment at dinner parties with her saying something rude,   
  
Lascivia came out with such things that did not simply suggest controversy, it commanded it. Susan found it very hard to hold any secure   
  
friendships when Lascivia kept telling them that they were fat/ugly/spotty/scary/smelling slightly of rotten haddock. Susan had tried   
  
telling Lascivia about manners, but Lascivia never saw the point. What was the point of speaking when you can't speak your mind.   
  
After all, Susan had always said to be honest with herself and those around her.  
  
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Lascivia was not an evil child, nor was she a menace, she was in fact what every parent wants their child to be. All parents want their   
  
children to be proud of themselves. All parents want their children to have high self-esteem. All parents want their children to be  
  
mature in their thinking. All parents want children that are little adults, miniature versions of themselves, all parents except Susan.  
  
Susan had often thought what her child was going to be like. She had been afraid that it may have become a "Christine" and find herself   
  
carinn about whaich pink suited her complexion better. Susan had often mortified herself by the possibilities, but she had never thought   
  
of a child like Lascivia. Lascivia was the child of her dreams, in theory. But in the real world, she was stuck with a someone who was,   
  
in essence, Susan's inner child. Susan was the sort of person who thought odd things, often wanted to speak her mind and throttle   
  
all who opposed her mighty will. But Susan knew how to control these compulsions. But, it wasn't as though Lascivia didn't know how to   
  
control herself. It was just that she didn't want to. 


	2. The arrival of Hogswatch

Disclaimer: Ssuan, the Hogfather, Death and scenery are owned by Terry Pratchett. I only own Lascivia.  
  
It was two o'clock in the morning and Lascivia wanted a glass of wine. Her mother had long ago tried   
  
to tell her why only mature people drink wine. And Lascivia had agreed. Only mature people   
  
should drink wine. Unfortunatly, Lascivia had missed the fact that she was not "mature".  
  
Her mother had meant age, not the way Great Grandfather had explained it.  
  
Lascivia pulled back the linen sheets and strolled out to the kitchens. It was amazing   
  
how the absence of other human presence can magnify noises and movements. She used to   
  
be scared by this, but soon realized that it was pointless. She continued her creaking   
  
descent to the kitchens. It was a long way to go for a drink, but was usualy worth it.  
  
As she arrived into the kitchens, she remembered. The turkey sitting in the cage  
  
ready to be killed and cooked. The bowl of dried fruits and the new sack of flour.   
  
The paper chains littering the ceiling. It was Hogswatch.   
  
Lascivia knew the Hogfather existed, but was never swept up by the merry image of a jolly fat man.   
  
She knew he wasn't. She had met him once, and now planned to meet him again.  
  
She ran silently through the house and into the lounge room. Yes, he hadn't been yet. The   
  
stockings were empty, the cookies uneaten, and the industrial-sized bottle of Lancre whiskey   
  
was still waiting on the mantlepeice. Lascivia poured herself a glass of the whiskey and   
  
nestled herself in a large armchair facing the fireplace. She sat there for three quarters of  
  
an hour waiting for the Hogfather, by which time, she had nearly finished her third glass.  
  
And then... As soot gushed down the chimney, she heard a pained grumble from the vicinity   
  
of the bottle of Lancre whiskey.   
  
"bugger bother and blast"  
  
Lascivia leaned up from her chair and asked:  
  
"Are you alright up there?"  
  
"Yes, any reason for it not to be?"  
  
"You sound like you need some help"  
  
"Am not"  
  
"You are so"  
  
"Am not"  
  
"Are so"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
YOU ARE SO  
  
There was a stunned silence as the Hogfather tried to peice together the situation. He had been   
  
being stuck in a chimney and talking to what he assumed was a young girl, when he heard the Voice.  
  
There was only one person he knew who had that voice. And that was Death. But Death did also have a   
  
grand-daughter, but that grand-daughter would have been about twenty-seven years old by now.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Lascivia"  
  
"Ah. Kevin told me about you, you're the daughter of that Susan girl, yes?"  
  
"Yes and no. Yes, I am the daughter of Susan but, no, she is not a girl."  
  
"Yes she is"  
  
"No she isn't, she's an old bum"  
  
"Old? How old?"  
  
"I don't know, parents don't tell children their age"  
  
"About how old?"  
  
"Twenty-something, i don't know"  
  
The Hogfather still wasn't convinced.  
  
"Would your grandfather happen to be a little bony?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"And blue eyed?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"And does he have a penchant for wearing billowy black robes?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"And does he have any grasp of swing-making?"  
  
"Not at all"  
  
"So your great grandfather is Death and your mother is Susan Sto Helit"  
  
"Yes and yes"  
  
"Great, now we've cleared that up, can you help me out of this chimney?"  
  
"I thought you didn't need any help, let alone the help of a *wittle innocent girly wirly*?"  
  
Lascivia was enjoying this. Normal children hide behind armchairs in order to spy of the Hogfather.  
  
Lascivia enjoyed a more direct approach.  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"Six"  
  
"SIX?!?!?"  
  
"Yes and very mature for my age, thank you very much."  
  
"I'll say"  
  
"So, do you want some help or not?"  
  
"Yes please"  
  
"I'll go get the butter"  
  
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Hope you liked that one, it will continue in the next chapter. Please review, i like flames,   
  
they keep me warm in the dark, cold, depths of the night.  
  
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